XCOM 2 Daily Deal

Earth, 2017. Everybody knows the Reptilians have seized control of the dominant powers of the globe, and they are desperate to warm the planet to better suit their ideal cold-blooded living conditions. What most people don’t realize- and I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but you have a right to know- is that the GREYS are the ones pulling the strings.

You see, the Reptilians are just pawns in the Grey game that is galactic destruction. So that’s where XCOM 2 comes in. You are XCOM, an elite (failed) tactical team led by the GMan from Half Life. Also sometimes you fight GMen? Well he was always sort of an ambiguous character.

Anyways, you have to assemble your crack squad of people that you name after your friends, enemies, Duke Nukem, and Hollywood Movie Stars. It will probably end up that half of your squad will serve as meat shields for the other half- you can bet that Duke Nukem (Heavy Weapons Guy) and Michelle Rodriguez (Sniper) are going to level up all the way while poor Jimmy from shop class is going to take some plasma for the team.

Seriously though, unless you were born without a heart (which would make you a Grey, and therefore the enemy) this game will make you feel things for these silent heroes that make up the XCOM force. Get it while it’s hot and 60% off. 

THQ Nordic 80% off Weekend

This is somehow the first time I’ve heard of THQ Nordic, but not the first I’ve heard of these games. Holy cow these games are awesome. This is a great sale. Just look at their sale picture. There’s a cyborg, a scantily clad huntress, Cleopatra fighting back to back with Achilles and that molten lava boss from Dark Souls.

80% percent off of any of those things is totally worth it. But to really understand, we have to talk about the Nordic people. They are great. You might think they are a peace loving people. Maybe now. But back in the day, they basically invented ocean faring ships just so they could discover islands they could burn down.

Now, they don’t really do that stuff anymore. I think. In Sweden (maybe elsewhere?) they drink this stuff called Akvavit. It’s basically just rubbing alcohol with some weird spices in it. Sometimes it’s clear, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s delicious, sometimes it isn’t. I’ll be honest, I drank a lot of it last time I was there. And if you drink just the right amount, you lose your desire to plunder foreign lands.

So THQ Nordic, maybe during a cold winter, they all got together and drank a bunch of Akvavit and thought, hey, you know what’s cooler than Diablo? Those Ancient Egyptians. And thus, Titan Quest was born.

Do you like old school ARPGs? Buy Titan Quest, it’s awesome.

Have you ever wanted to run around in circles at 500 mph while shooting some kind of full auto stake gun? Get Painkiller, it’s awesome.

Painkiller Black
Seriously if you haven’t played a Painkiller game what the hell is wrong with you

Do you like heavy metal and/or action figures and mashing buttons? Get Darksiders, it’s awesome.

Verdict: Systembolaget 

Sale Page Here

 

 

Day of the Tentacle 70% off

In Day of the Tentacle you play a giant tentacle who flies a TIE fighter and tries to squash the Rebellion (AKA the Whale Menace).

In Day of the Tentacle you play a giant tentacle who flies a TIE fighter and tries to squash the Rebellion (AKA the Whale Menace).

This version of the game has been remastered by Double Fine. They are basically super good at drawing I guess, this game has less pixels than the original, it’s real smooth like.

Anyways, Steam Daily Deal loves a good adventure game and they also love a good Lucas Arts game and they love a good 70% off, if you like moving your mouse cursor across a static screen for 15 (1.5) minutes before getting frustrated and alt tabbing to go look at the answer on GameFAQs you should probably get this game. Also if you like good games you should probably get this game.

 

Why Does Batman Wear the Mask?

Let me tell you all you need to know about Batman: Arkham City being 75% off. Right here. Anyways, let’s get real.

INT. LAND CRUISER JOSTLING OVER UNEVEN TERRAIN - DAY

Three Hooded Men guarded by East European Militia. A third
Militia drives. Next to him is a nervous, bespectacled man.



EXT. AIRSTRIP, EASTERN EUROPE - DAY

An airstrip overlooking a grey city rocked by artillery
fire. A bland CIA Operative, flanked by Special Forces Men,
stands in front of a commuter plane. CIA Man watches the
Land Cruiser pull up, hard. The Militia Men jump out of the
vehicle.
The Driver shoves the bespectacled man in front of the CIA
Man.

2.





CIA MAN
Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA.
Dr. Pavel nods, nervous. CIA Man hands the Driver a
briefcase.



DRIVER
He wasn't alone.
CIA Man, confused, spots the Hooded Men. He turns to Dr.
Pavel.



CIA MAN
You don't get to bring friends.

DR. PAVEL

(SHAKEN)
They are not my friends.

DRIVER
Don't worry, no charge for them.

CIA MAN
Why would I want them?

DRIVER
They were trying to grab your
prize. (Smiles.) They work for the
mercenary. The masked man.



CIA MAN

(EXCITED)
Bane?
The Driver nods. CIA Man turns to his Special Forces Men.



CIA MAN
Get 'em on board - I'll call it in.





EXT. SKIES OVER MOUNTAIN RANGE - DAY

The commuter plane struggles over snow-capped mountains.



INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS



The three Hooded Men kneel by the cargo door, handcuffed.
CIA Man grabs Hooded Man 1.

CIA MAN
What are you doing in the middle of
my operation?

3.


Hooded Man 1 says nothing. CIA Man pulls out a handgun.
The flight plan I just filed with
the Agency lists me, my men, and
Dr. Pavel here. But only one of
you.
CIA Man opens the cargo door. Special Forces hang Hooded Man
1 out into the howling wind - CIA Man shouts above the wind.



CIA MAN

FIRST ONE TO TALK GETS TO STAY ON
MY AIRCRAFT! (Cocks weapon.)

SO...WHO PAID YOU TO GRAB DR.

PAVEL?!


Nothing. CIA Man fires out the open door and the Special
Forces yank Hooded Man 1 back in, clubbing him quiet.

CIA MAN

HE DIDN'T FLY SO GOOD! WHO WANTS TO

TRY NEXT?!


The Soldiers grab Hooded Man 2, hang him out the door.

CIA MAN

TELL ME ABOUT BANE! WHY DOES HE

WEAR THE MASK?!


The prisoner says nothing. CIA Man presses the gun to the
man's hood - he cocks the gun...nothing.

CIA MAN

LOT OF LOYALTY FOR A HIRED GUN!



THIRD PRISONER (O.S.)
Or he's wondering why someone would
shoot a man before throwing him out
of an aeroplane.


CIA Man turns to the Third Prisoner. Shuts the cargo door.

CIA MAN
Wiseguy, huh? At least you can
talk. Who are you?



THIRD PRISONER
We are nothing. We are the dirt
beneath your feet. And no one cared
who I was until I put on the
mask...


CIA Man, wary, approaches the Third Prisoner - pulls off his
hood, revealing a dark mask with a breathing apparatus. The
eyes behind it are cold. Still. This is Bane.

4.





BANE
Who we are does not matter. What
matters is our plan.

CIA MAN

(FASCINATED)
If I pull this off, will you die?

BANE
It would be extremely painful.



CIA MAN
You're a big guy -

BANE
For you.



CIA MAN

(UNNERVED)
Was being caught part of your plan?

BANE
Of course. Dr. Pavel refused our
offer in favor of yours. We had to
know what he told you about us.

DR. PAVEL
Nothing! I said nothing!



CIA MAN
Why not just ask him?

BANE
He would not have told us.



CIA MAN
You have methods.

BANE
Him, I need healthy. You present no
such problem.
CIA Man laughs for the Special Forces' benefit. A heavy bass
tone is rising. The Sergeant looks out the window.





EXT. SKIES OVER MOUNTAIN RANGE - CONTINUOUS

The commuter plane is dwarfed by a massive transport plane
looming over it, dangerously close...

5.





INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS

The plane lurches. The noise is building.

SERGEANT
Sir?



CIA MAN
Well congratulations, you got
yourselves caught. What's the next
step of your master plan?



BANE
Crashing this plane...



EXT. MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS



The ramp of the transport opens... Four men leap out on
tethers - dropping towards the commuter plane, two each
side...





INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS

The Spacial Forces react to the turbulence from the plane
above. CIA Man looks at Bane.

BANE

(RISING)
With no survivors.
A Special Forces soldier spins around - an Armed Man is
outside the window. Bang -





EXT. SKIES OVER MOUNTAIN RANGE - CONTINUOUS

Two men shoot through the windows, the other two attach
grapples to the fuselage - give the thumbs up - hoists start
to pull and the tail of the commuter plane is lifted,
unnaturally.



INT. COCKPIT, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS

The Pilots battle the controls as the plane tilts forward.

6.





INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS

Like lightning, Bane has the CIA Man is his handcuffed arms,
legs wrapped around a seat back, The entire cabin upends.
Tumbling chaos - Soldiers falling - Bane cracks CIA Man's
neck and drops him onto the Sergeant - they tumble down the
plane, smashing into the cockpit door with a terminal thud.
Dr. Pavel, strapped in, pushes against the seat in front of
him - the plane vibrates, trying to tear itself apart.





EXT. ATLAS MOUNTAINS - CONTINUOUS

The men climb the tail of the smaller plane as it dangles
helplessly above the mountains. Its wings shear off.





INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS

Bane breaks his handcuffs as if they were plastic, then
opens his legs and drops down the cabin, somersaulting
gracefully and using his arms to stop himself halfway down,
by Dr. Pavel.



EXT. SKIES OVER MOUNTAIN RANGE - CONTINUOUS

The men attach explosives to the tail, then jump away,
swinging out as the tail explodes.



INT. MAIN CABIN, COMMUTER PLANE - CONTINUOUS

An explosion takes off the rear door of the cabin - the
Armed Men drop through the smoke on cables.
A body bag is lowered into the cabin. Bane lies it on the
seat backs next to Dr. Pavel and unzips it to reveal a body
the same age and build as Dr. Pavel.


Bane rips Dr. Pavel's sleeve - pulls out a length of
surgical tubing - pushes a needle into Dr. Pavel's arm -
runs the tube to the body's arm... Dr. Pavel watches,
horrified, as Bane starts compressions on the body's chest,
drawing Dr. Pavel's blood across the tube and into the
body...


An Armed Man pulls Hooded Man 1 up through the cabin and
out. Bane stops Hooded Man 2.

7.





BANE
Friend. They expect one of us in
the wreckage.
The man nods, unhooks himself, takes Bane's arm.



HOODED MAN 2
Have we started the fire?

BANE

(NODS)
The fire rises.
Hooded Man 2 hands Bane his line. Bane clips it around Dr.
Pavel, takes out a knife and cuts Dr. Pavel's seat belt. Dr.
Pavel panics, flails. Bane takes his arms. Gentle.



BANE
Calm, Doctor. Now is not time for
fear...
Bane slides Dr. Pavel out of his seat. They hang in the
vertical, windblown cabin. Bane takes out a detonator.



BANE
That comes later.
Bane presses the detonator - the cabin drops from around
them, revealing the terrifying drop to the peaks below. Dr.
Pavel screams as they are hoisted up towards the transport,
and we -

CUT TO:
Our dicks in our hands


Verdict: For You. 

Arma 3 Free Weekend

It’s an Arma III free weekend! Arma III is the most realistic military simulation out there. If your rig can handle it, that is. The game begins at a pep rally in high school, one in which the military has come to recruit students looking for a sense of purpose in their life. Or, as the recruiting officer explains, a scholarship, exclusive technical job training, the chance to travel, etc. He makes it sound very convincing, and despite the fact that you were going to try and play ball at State a swelling of patriotism deep within you makes you decide to enlist. 
Flash forward to bootcamp where you are awoken at 3 AM by a shouting drill instructor who has informed you that you will now hike for 25 miles, in real time. There is no quicksaving or autosaving and if at any point you are unable to complete the full hike, you will have to start all over again. During this time, the drill instructor will shout various morale-boosting slurs at you. He will insult you with words like “Mary” and/or “pansy.” But it’s all in the name of country. The only thing that keeps you going is nightly letters from your high school sweetheart, who promised to wait for you to return from your Call of Duty. Except those nightly letters start coming less and less frequently, and you start to worry that something might be wrong. However, you told your best friend Billy to make sure to take good care of her while you were gone and Billy is a stand up guy so everything is probably fine.
From there, Arma III is all about the waiting. Waiting for deployment. Waiting to find out where you’ll end up. And then waiting to travel. And then you wait for your flight, and it’s lonely. Sure, there’s other soldiers there but really, you’re alone. And then you wait for your first taste of combat. Your finger sits on the side of the trigger, waiting to be used for the first time in a real life or death situation. And you wait for the first sign of the enemy. And you wait for someone else to fire first because you want to make sure that you’re doing the right thing. All the while, thinking of Suzy, back home, waiting for you too.
pretty lonely out here, just the two of us
Only she’s not waiting for you, oh no. I got bad news for you, Private. Suzy got tired of waiting and she got herself knocked up. Billy took care of her alright. So if this sounds like a game you might enjoy, give it a shot! Arma III is currently on free weekend until Sunday, Oct 26th! 

RAGE

There are a lot of things about RAGE that will make you rage. In both the good and the bad way. Rage is one of those words like “bad” or “no” that can sometimes mean the opposite of what they are implying. For instance, if somebody gets ebola, that is bad. But if somebody swings through a window with two deagles blasting time traveling nazis, that is badass, which is good. Rage can mean getting angry, for instance getting angry at the horrible texture pop in issues that plague RAGE. But according to Urban Dictionary, Rage:

To party extremly hard: Excessive drinking, taking of pills, boozing or any combination of the three. 

As in, the texture pop in of RAGE will make you rage so hard that you rage, raging until you alleviate your rage while you play RAGE. Get it? I didn’t think so.

Anyways, when RAGE came out it was billed as id’s answer to Fallout 3/NV, which is really the worst comparison this game could have had. It is a linear shooter that combines the looting aspect of FO3 minus the actual loot. You know how in New Vegas and 3 you have to check every damn trash can and drawer out of habit because you might need a Sunset Sasparilla or a box of smokes? Well they added that feature in RAGE except you never find anything except for tin cans and useless junk. You will never find a cool weapon because that just doesn’t happen. Why is the looting system in this game? I have no idea.

The actual shooting is fine. It’s actually pretty good. However, there is regenerating bloody screen health, which is always just the worst. Quite frankly it makes me RAGE. There is also some driving and it’s just fine and dandy. Aesthetically the game pulls off a nice enough post apocalyptic world. But man for a company that’s built itself on making badass engines this one is so bad.

This is how Americans view all English football fans

 RAGE is currently on sale for 75% off, it is $4.99. This game goes on sale from time to time. If you really like linear single player shooters, the action here is enough to keep you interested. And although there is regenerating health, at least you can hold more than 2 guns at a time. $4.99 for a AAA title is pretty good though so it’s up to you. For diehard modern FPS fans: Verdict: Buy it

The Free Weekend Weekend: Payday 2

As you can clearly see, we have entered The FREE WEEKEND WEEKEND. It’s time to play for free Thurs 10/16 – Sunday 10/19. This is great news! There is almost always one free game on Steam every weekend but now we get to choose from so many, it really is great. So bask in the glow of free gaming goodness, and try them all out.

Payday 2 has been on a few free weekends already so you may have had a chance to try it at some point. Unfortunately Payday 2 is one of those annoying games where you purchase it in the first place, for real life money, and then they shove a bunch of DLC down your throat. Like a shotgun. Why the hell should I have to pay for a shotgun with more money if I already bought the game? The world may never know. So we’re already off to a misstep. However let’s talk about the game itself.

If you didn’t know, Payday 2 is the official video game sequel of Point Break. Which is already a good thing, because Point Break is the best movie (excuse me, FILM) of all time. It stars the greatest actor of all time, Keanu Reeves, and he beats up a bunch of suit wearing bankrobbers donning matching rubber masks that look like ex-presidents. The FBI calls them The Ex-Presidents. Payday 2 puts you in the shoes of the bad guys instead of in the shoes of Keanu which would be way cooler but whatever.

Anyways, you should buy Point Break The Movie before you buy Payday 2 because that’s where the coincidences stop. First of all there is no surfing! How can you have a bank robbery team that doesn’t surf? They are supposed to be a real tight unit and nothing brings bros together like surfing. Also, Keanu Reeves is nowhere to be found, and neither is the ghost of Patrick Swayze (???). So let’s talk about gameplay. Basically this game is like Left 4 Dead 2. Well, actually it’s like Left 4 Dead 1 before Valve nerfed shiva stacking. You sit in a closet and just mow down wave after wave of idiotic police and SWAT officers. There’s supposed to be some kind of heist going on but the whole thing just feels silly and there’s not much strategy. There’s also not a ton of weapons of less you buy them.

Keanu Reeves is an FBI agent, sadly missing from Payday 2.

However, Payday 2 is currently on a free weekend and if you have 4 friends you can give it a shot and it might be fun if you try and dick each other over. It’s probably not worth the purchase though, even at 75% off. Verdict: Skip it.