Eador: Masters of the Broken World

Eador: Masters of the Broken World Free Content Update takes place on a world that has been shattered. Broken, if you will. More specifically it takes place on a lot of different broken worlds. That’s the gimmick. And the universe with all of it’s floating islands looks pretty cool. The game itself is like a mixture of Civilization and Total War with a heaping helping of Heroes of Might and Magic.

The creatures that make up your armies are pretty awesome/cheesy just like HOMM. There are many headed hydras and griffins and if you ever wanted to attack someone with a unicorn, now you can. There are also random events that occur and the game keeps track of how you react to them…as a demigod, you can either be a jerk or a nice person and apparently there are 12 different endings you get based on these outcomes.

Explain that, Core-Accretion Theory of Planet Formation!

Basically each floating planet has it’s own semi-unique terrain and land for you to conquer. On the outside it looks like your standard 4x game and then once you get inside it shifts to the Total War/HOMM hybrid. In case you’re wondering, the enemy pictured is in fact indifferent. Which means he’s ripe for the destruction that you crave. You are an angry god, and it is the indifferent people who have angered you, like this joker over here. There is only one way to make yourself noticed, and that is complete and total destruction. That and a plague of locusts/the death of everyone’s firstborn son. Either way. Send the unicorn army! The nonbelievers will perish!

Eador: Masters of the Broken World is currently on sale for $4.99 at 75% off. The devs are still updating the game and it is apparently far less buggy than it was upon release. Also, according to the most recent update notes, there is now an angry tree man available.

Anyways, if HOMM In Space is your thing get into it. Verdict: Buy it.

SpellForce 2: Demons of the Past

SpellForce 2: Demons of the Past tells the story of when you got too drunk at that party in Mage School and hooked up with that hot (at the time) succubus. Oh sure, it seemed like a good idea at the time, everyone was having fun and you were really rounding into your “letting loose” phase. The elixir everyone was drinking that was so fondly referred to as “jungle juice” only made your decision that much easier. Only here she is at your doorstep, seven months later, and she has a surprise for you. Oh it’s all becoming clearer now. You left the condoms at home but it doesn’t matter because she’s on the pill and she’s clean, she said. And you listened to her, and hey she was half right.

Are you sure it’s mine, you say, and you hope, even though you know it probably is because that’s just your luck. And she says totally, even though there’s no way to know for sure because you were pretty sure she banged like half the Magic State Fireball Hurlers the same week. But you’re a good guy and there’s no way you would insinuate something like that. She doesn’t even get your name right. Steve, she calls you. You say look, I’m an Elder of the Shaikan now. This is going to make me look really bad. But what about me, she says…

…Anyways, the SpellForce series has been around for awhile. And just like your own Demons of the Past it comes back to haunt us. Maybe you like RTS/RPG hybrids. But $9.99 is a little steep for our taste. Verdict: Skip it.

Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines

If you are unfamiliar with Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines, it’s high time to get acquainted. It wasn’t released to rave reviews- they were mostly slightly average, and the game was highly praised for it’s potential rather than it’s execution. It was rushed at the end and it was built on a version of the Source engine that predated the original Half Life 2. But the people who love this game truly love it and it gives an experience unlike many other RPGs. 
But let’s take a moment to pour one out for both Troika, the long defunct devs of this great game, and also the World of Darkness MMO that was just recently canceled after 8 years of development. There will probably never be a true sequel to this game, and buying it will probably not change that. However, if you are a fan of RPGs whether they are first person or not Bloodlines is worth playing. If you like vampires than you will also like this game, 100% guaranteed, or Troika will give you your money back if you can find them since they have been scattered to all ends of the Earth. And like Gehenna in this game, one day they will rise again at the end of the world and eat everyone. 
Some people take issue with the combat, and it can be pretty hit or miss- especially because you can play through some of the game simply talking yourself out of situations but then you are forced to fight. It’s also buggy, although the unofficial patches that still keep coming out aim to fix most of that. The music is great and so is the writing, voice acting, and atmosphere, and it all makes up for the game’s shortcomings.  Most importantly you feel like a badass vampire that can kill anything. And as long as you have enough blood on hand you can.
This person is not playing the game correctly
Replay value is pretty high if you enjoy the game, because several of the clans offer completely different experiences- if you roll Nosferatu you travel by sewer instead of by cab, and if you roll Malkavian every dialogue choice in the entire game is different than the other clans.
There are multiple mods out for the game that add new clans and quests, some of them more complete than others. If you have any interest in a highly unique and engaging gaming experience, it’s worth it for $4.99. But remember. Don’t open it. Verdict: Buy it.

Dawn of Fantasy: Kingdom Wars

Well at least you know what you’re getting when you look at the banner for Dawn of Fantasy: Kingdom Wars. The title alone should sum it up, but then we got this generic knight guy looking dirty because nobody owns a shower in the fantasy realm. Although I guess that’s probably accurate. Here’s what we know so far: it’s a fantasy game, it’s in the morning, and there is a war going on, presumably between kingdoms. No false promises here. But it they really wanted to be clear they should have called it Dawn of Fantasy: Kingdom MMORTS. That way there would have been even less confusion.

Basically this game is like Helm’s Deep from Lord of the Rings. But then again what siege based RTS isn’t? A day may come when the courage of men fails… but it is not this day. If you decide to play human instead of orc or elf, that is. So how does this game work? Ideally, your arrows will blot out the sun, thereby forcing your enemy to fight in the shade. This being a “dawn” of fantasy, they will then be at a severe disadvantage. After you accomplish this, at my signal, unleash hell. Pretty soon you’ll be telling the enemy You Shall Not Pass. Know what I mean? 

The game plays similar to the Total War series…with a twist. There is a persistent economy and every once in awhile a genuine human can come siege your town or maybe you could siege somebody else’s town. It takes a few hours to really get your economy going which is kind of a bummer unless you really sit down and you’re in it for the long haul. It’s not quite a pick up and play type deal.

mmorts siege
“That still only counts as two” – Frodo, Lord of the Rings: Dawn of Fantasy

The battles are big and that’s cool, and the devs have continued to update the game for free. Apparently it used to be P2W but they changed it and it isn’t anymore. That’s cool I guess. It is currently on sale at 66% off for $5.09. If you feel like sinking a ton of hours into an MMORTS than this is probably the game for you. But the time investment might be too great for the reward. Verdict: Skip it.

Frozen Synapse Free Weekend

If there’s one thing we can get behind here at Steam Daily Deal it’s free weekends. Because the weekend is the time for all of us to close the curtains and seal ourselves off from the harsh rays of the sun and the even harsher realities of an unforgiving public. Sometimes all a man needs is the cold embrace of his Fractal Arc Mini and the whispers of a 120mm CPU fan to keep him company. And speaking of cold, here we are with Frozen Synapse, on a free weekend!

Frozen Synapse is a minimalist tactical turn based strategy shooter, or a MTTBSS. Don’t worry, I just made that up. But that’s really the best way to describe the game. It might seem pretty confusing, and it kind of is, until you get the hang of it that is. At least in multiplayer they tell you what your opponents’ win/loss records are so you know just how dominated you are going to get. There are many different game modes but the general idea is, like any tactical shooter, to stay under cover while flanking your opponent. I ain’t much of a thinker so twitch-based FPS is more my forte but this game is relatively approachable.

I thought everyone agreed on Red vs. Blue.

The soundtrack is really good and there is a hell of a lot of replayability here. There are also some interesting features like YouTube integration and uploading as well as Twitter and Facebook if that’s your thing. But the real draw here is the gameplay: with infinite randomized levels and a bunch of different game modes you can mess around with this one for a while. Verdict: Free Weekend, download it, you cheapskate.

Beat Hazard

Beat Hazard is called a hazard because it might literally give you a seizure. It even says so. It can also be hazardous if your music sucks, because then it won’t be any fun to play. It’s your standard Bullet Hell/Shoot ’em up arcade style game with the added value of the actions onscreen happening at the beat of your music. More or less. Video is probably the easiest way to describe it.

You get the idea. You can also level your ship up with perks and whatnot, but the interesting part about this game is the incorporation of your own music. This isn’t a new concept by any means but it’s executed well enough here to make it interesting. Do you like visualizers and/or recreational homeopathic medicine? Well you will probably enjoy the this game. It stays interesting if your music stays interesting.

The ship you control is really a metaphor for your senses and as the ship is assaulted in the game so are you too IRL. Seriously the colors will destroy your eyes and if you have it loud enough you can destroy your ears too! The Flamin Hot Cheeto dust in the air is sure to destroy your sense of smell, and the more I think about it this game might be just as physically damaging as an addiction to World of Warcraft. And that is damn impressive.

100% true actual marketing quote.

However, if music really isn’t your thing, your hard earned Steam Bux are probably going to be spent elsewhere. This game is fun to mess around with but it’s really all about the tunes. The whole thing got made by one dude in his bedroom which is always hilarious. It is currently 50% off and $4.99. If you need justification, look at it this way…how much of the music that you will listen to did you actual pay for? Verdict: Buy it.

Car Mechanic Simulator 2014

Oh boy, here we go again. Back in my day, simulations meant  you could be something cool, like an ant. Maybe you could get lucky, and even get to DRIVE a car. The most difficult thing you had to worry about in Road Rash (aka a badass sim) was whether or not you wanted new shocks or a straight up new bike. But here we are, a racing game without the racing. Once again.

You know what I would rather play than this game? Hangover Simulator 2014. It makes you feel like you really spent all night drinking Malibu Pineapples only you didn’t. You didn’t get to go to a fun party or a cool bar, no, you just have to live with the repercussions. All you have is the text messages from your girlfriend asking you how you could call her that, only you don’t remember what you called her. Have fun digging yourself out of that mess. That’s what this game is. Sure, build yourself a cool (lame) car. Kind of. And then let it sit there. Unscrew bolts! Get quoted wildly different repair costs from three different mechanics all over town!

I’ll tell you what I don’t want simulated. My annual trip to the mechanic. I pull the car in the driveway and there he is, smoking a cigarette next to an open drum of something highly flammable. It’s like the exploding barrels in every video game ever, only IRL. Well at least I know I’m in good hands!

This is actually surprisingly accurate

Worst possible simulations:

1. Tax Man Simulator 2014
2. Prison Shower Simulator 2014
3. Dentist Simulator 1356
4. Kidney Stone Simulator 2014
5. Mechanic Simulator 2014

Mechanic Simulator 2014 is currently on sale at 50% off for $9.99. And I cannot recommend it. You are better off getting one of those little firetrucks for kids that you can take the hood off of and pretend to work on. Verdict: Skip it.