Rise of the Triad

Well at least it’s been a pretty good start to the month as far as zany, over-the-top, throwback first person shooter games go. Rise of the Triad is the latest. And the original is ollllllllld. We’re talking 1994 old. Listen I don’t have a math degree or anything but I’m pretty sure that was like twenty years ago. I somehow managed to miss it back in the day. Which is a damn shame because it looks awesome. It started as apparently a straight up expansion for Wolfenstein before becoming its own game. Along the way it pioneered such technology as breakable glass (!) level over level environments (!!) and stairs (!!!).

But what does the remake bring us? Well, let’s look at a couple interesting quotes, brought to us from Steam itself.

  • The iconic original soundtrack has been completely re-forged in the fires of heavy metal! 
  • ROTT is bloodier and more ludicrous than ever, with full character and enemy dismemberment  

Based on those two descriptions, I know I’m interested. But what does the public think
about it? According to one user: This game made me a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sexual tyrannosaurus. 666/10
…I think we’ve all had that dream before, in some form or another. In any case I’m sold.

The gameplay works as you’d expect it to. Over the top, run and gun, Serious Sam style. But the weapons are more ridiculous, or excuse me, the word they like to use is “ludicrous.” So you basically are circle strafing around shooting walls of fire at people or rockets or whatnot. There’s also a baseball bat that shoots exploding baseballs at people. It’s only slightly less fun than hitting someone with the sandman as a scout in TF2.

Say goodbye to your kneecaps chucklehead

Look, if you want an old school circle strafin rocket shootin no health regeneratin under cover kind of a shooter, than you should definitely pick this up. Plus the devs fixed a bunch of bugs, so it’s better than it was on release. And most importantly, it is only $3.74. Verdict: Buy it

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