Just Cause 2

The best way to describe Just Cause 2 is to call it by it’s true name: Just Cuz 2. Get it? It’s a play on words. As in Just beCause 2. Why does the main character, Rico Rodriguez, have the best stereotypical name and accent possible? Just Cause. Why does he work for a fictional CIA who thinks the best way to dismantle a tyrannical regime is to cause as much havoc in the general population as possible? Just Cause. Why did he attach a poor civilian just trying to ride home from a long day of work at the farm via grappling hook to the back of a jet and then take off with the jet so that poor civilian flew through the air at a dangerous speed? Just Cause. Why is there a massive, floating dance club hung by two air balloons that you can parachute on called the Mile High Club? JUST CAUSE. This game is BADASS.

 This game is so good, seriously. It looks like the stupidest game ever from first glance. Maybe it is. But in an Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando kind of way. But that’s not even fair because this movie blows every action movie ever made out of the water. What’s my evidence? Just Cause. OK I’m done. The evidence is that you can pretty much do anything you ever wanted to try in a video game as far as transportation goes. You have a grappling hook and parachute combo that essentially allows you to fly and makes you impervious to any kind of car/plane/helicopter/tuk-tuk crash. And it’s easy. All you have to do is mash the space bar right before impact and you fly away. What this means is you can get in any kind of insane situation and immediately bail out of it. If you are on a boat in the middle of the ocean and there is a North Korean chopper after you (editors’ note: they’re not actually North Korean) and the chopper fires some missiles, in about 1.5 seconds you can be out of that boat while it explodes beneath you and meanwhile you are grappling onto the chopper punching that commie in the face and throwing him out the window. Then you fly that chopper to the beach for some good old Texas BBQ with some jackass called the Sloth Demon. I can’t make this up and it’s not even the best thing that happens in this game.

There are so many moments that make you go HOLY SHIT it never gets old and the game encourages you to push the engine to its limits.

Press X to roundhouse kick a car into oblivion

As if you needed more reason to buy this game, some glorious man released a multiplayer mod for it that downloads through Steam as well and it’s free. The shooting is probably the least fun part of this game and it’s the least fun part of multiplayer too. But there is fun stuff like teleportation and races and griefing other players. More importantly there is a turbo button. And the turbo button makes you go approximately 10000 miles per hour and combining that with the game’s physics is obviously hilarious. Basically, boats can fly and other crazy things.

Just Cause 2 is currently on sale at 80% off for $2.99. This is a phenomenal deal. You know why you should buy this game? Just Cause. OK now I’m really done. Verdict: Buy it.

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