THQ Nordic 80% off Weekend

This is somehow the first time I’ve heard of THQ Nordic, but not the first I’ve heard of these games. Holy cow these games are awesome. This is a great sale. Just look at their sale picture. There’s a cyborg, a scantily clad huntress, Cleopatra fighting back to back with Achilles and that molten lava boss from Dark Souls.

80% percent off of any of those things is totally worth it. But to really understand, we have to talk about the Nordic people. They are great. You might think they are a peace loving people. Maybe now. But back in the day, they basically invented ocean faring ships just so they could discover islands they could burn down.

Now, they don’t really do that stuff anymore. I think. In Sweden (maybe elsewhere?) they drink this stuff called Akvavit. It’s basically just rubbing alcohol with some weird spices in it. Sometimes it’s clear, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s delicious, sometimes it isn’t. I’ll be honest, I drank a lot of it last time I was there. And if you drink just the right amount, you lose your desire to plunder foreign lands.

So THQ Nordic, maybe during a cold winter, they all got together and drank a bunch of Akvavit and thought, hey, you know what’s cooler than Diablo? Those Ancient Egyptians. And thus, Titan Quest was born.

Do you like old school ARPGs? Buy Titan Quest, it’s awesome.

Have you ever wanted to run around in circles at 500 mph while shooting some kind of full auto stake gun? Get Painkiller, it’s awesome.

Painkiller Black
Seriously if you haven’t played a Painkiller game what the hell is wrong with you

Do you like heavy metal and/or action figures and mashing buttons? Get Darksiders, it’s awesome.

Verdict: Systembolaget 

Sale Page Here

 

 

JUST CAUSE 2: 2: Warner Bros. Publisher Weekend

I already covered Just Cause 2 a long long time ago when it was 80% off and nothing has changed. Check it out here. If you didn’t buy it then buy it NOW. The original Verdict: Buy it still remains. 

Anyways, there is also a Warner Bros Publisher weekend. If you’re like me you might think of the Warner Bros as a cartoon studio. Most likely involving some combination of Bugs Bunny and/or the Animaniacs. Also, the studio is located in Toontown and they are frequently made the subject of prejudice by an exploitative human hierarchy. Well that’s all wrong, because Warner Bros also publishes games apparently, and lots of them are on sale, except for the two featured ones, Gauntlet and Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor. Which is a damn shame because Gauntlet is badass and due for a remake. Plus that Valkyrie is totally smokin’.

Something about wings and/or breasts, etc.

Look at those high heeled boots. Hilarious! If this came out now people would totally lose it on Twitter. They just don’t get that if you kick ass while also being scantily clad it’s twice as impressive. Am I wrong? Hello?

Let’s look at the games, because Gauntlet is out because it’s not on sale. The top five options are, in order of how they are listed on the sale page, are:

  • Batman: Arkham Whatever
  • Scribblenauts UNLIMITED
  • F.E.A.R.
  • Bastion
  • Mortal Kombat vs. Scooby Doo! and Looney Tunes Cartoon Universe: Adventure
This a pretty varied selection of games, and you’re bound to find something you’re interested in in this bunch. Apparently WB Games does make some good stuff but they only release something basically every 3 years. Anyways, let’s break it down. Batman is pretty fun if you like trampsing around a city in your underwear beating up criminals. Scribblenauts Unlimited is pretty fun if you like pretending to tramps around in your underwear beating up criminals with silly objects. F.E.A.R. was awesome back in the day and somehow scary while providing one of the first FPS experiences with Bullet Time But you need at least an x850 xt to run it. In Bastion you run around in a painting and smack people with a hammer. 
But we all know where this was heading, Mortal Kombat vs. Scooby Doo! and Looney Tunes Cartoon Universe: Adventure. If you ever wanted to know who would win a fight between Shaggy and Scorpion, or if Fred could take down Mileena (she’s a maneater but that ascot would melt a heart of coal), now you can! It’s not even close. Winner: Mortal Kombat vs. Scooby Doo! and Looney Tunes Cartoon Universe: Adventure.

2K Weekend

There are a whole lot of deals this weekend. So many deals. And it’s not even really the weekend it’s Thursday. What day is this? Who knows. It’s not just 2K games that are on sale either. You’ve also got Dishonored which is on a free weekend, a space sim called Kinetic Void, and all the Metro games. The ones in the subway, you know what I’m talking about. The problem is how do you decide which Steam daily deal to purchase? At least you can try a few of them out for free. But if you are too lazy to try them yourself and you would rather purchase them blindly, letting them sit and grow moldy in your backlog for ages, untouched, like a Pristine Rotten Kiwi in DayZ, then you have come to the right place.

Let’s start with 2K Games weekend. 2K is pretty cool. They make/publish pretty decent games. The publisher/developer relationship in video games has never made much sense to me, but generally if a publisher sucks the game somehow ends up sucking, although this is not always the case. Anyways, 2K is A.O.K.

The Gamez:

Maybe you have heard of Sid Meier’s Civilization? I guess it’s kind of a big deal in the strategy world. Or as they say in the industry “4X.” The thing is with Civ V you have to figure out which Civilization game is the best. The problem is in order to compare Civ games and to determine which Civ is better it takes hundreds of hours because the damn games take so long to play. If you have never played Civilization before but you would like to try it, go ahead and play Civ V. But you are also going to want to pick up the Brave New World DLC which basically adds some stuff that should have been in the game in the first place. Personally, I like Civilization IV better than Civ V. The AI is not all messed up and neither is the UI. The combat is kind of lame though, so be forewarned…also watch out for Tokugawa that guy is an asshole.

Bioshock Infinite is a pretty good game, albeit a very polarizing one. It’s not really a Bioshock game so throw that out the window. The story is good, but it being about multiverses and time travel there are going to be lots of holes. Holes in the fabric of reality, I mean. It will either make sense to you or it won’t, everybody has their own interpretation of it. The biggest problem with the game is that most of the guns suck and they aren’t very fun to use. You can also only hold two at a time, which is dumb and pointless (thanks for that one, consoles). The second biggest problem with the game is that it had so much potential to be better. That’s not to say that it is a bad game, because it is a good game. But there were many game mechanics that felt either tacked on or unused that could have been much cooler than they were (i.e., flying around on metal rails is cool but not necessary most of the time). Anyways, it’s certainly worth playing.

There’s something to be said for the fact that Borderlands is more expensive than Borderlands 2. Borderlands 2 should be a better game than the first- it adds more weapons and more varied locales and the gameplay has remained unchanged. But the first one is probably better. Maybe because it felt more novel. The vast majority of the time in Borderlands 2 is spent fighting the same damn robots all the time. If you don’t choose an acid weapon you are basically screwed. The first Borderlands felt like it had more flexibility in types of weapons. The game is also hurt by the fact than any class can use any weapons just as effectively as any other. It makes you feel less special and I like to feel special because it’s a video game. But really, you should only buy this game if you have a friend(s) to play with because that’s what makes it fun, it’s like Diablo with guns.

XCOM is totally the best game on this list. Defend the USA (or Earth or whatever) by blowing away aliens with huge machine guns. There are gibs. You will cry when your squadmates die. This is the game to purchase, unless you are a whiny baby communist that can’t handle a challenge like a REAL MAN. Also, there are real women in the game, they make the best snipers for some reason. Plus you can give people funny names.

Anyways, all of these games are actually good and you will have a good time with any of them, so make up your damn mind already. But your best bet is totally XCOM.